Pepto Bismol, Box Office & Rob, Oh My! -- Remember Me's Opening Weekend

Well, the time is here. Remember Me finally opens Nationwide in the U.S. on Friday, including scattered midnight shows in some of the larger cities. Many of us have been waiting long before we watched him on the streets of New York and worried for his safety with those wretched sorority row she-devils who tried to hump him in front of 80 million paparazzi cameras.

9-months later, one cab that may or may not have bumped the holy Pattinson knee, a gazillion Twitter-devil sightings, thousands of mentally-challenged journalists who still think we're all little 12-year-olds and a fandom that seems to split more regularly than a cell filled with the C-word, Remember Me is ready to hit theaters.

The question now is will YOU be there? Some movie-industry "insiders" and tracking devices seem to think not. Studio executives and the crotchety old prognosticators are obsessed with opening weekend box office and while I'd like to say phooey to all of them, opening weekend is important for a reason. There are a hot ton of factors that play into why, but the main one is that Hollywood only speaks box office and the opening weekend will be a significant indication of the money Remember Me will likely make. And the more money it makes the more word-of-mouth it will get, and the more of a success it will be called.

New Moon opened to a $140.7 million dollar weekend because...well, it's the dun dun dun, Twilight Saga New Moon. But Remember Me was never intended to be Twilight 3: The New York city Edward Smokes And Fucks A Lot Interlude. Remember Me was never going to have corny crowns at Burger King, shirtless puppies, silly Remember Me lipstick or Chris Cooper sexy beast cardboard cutouts.

Hey, I'd buy the cut out. Just sayin'. But you know what I mean.

Nope, Remember Me is and always was, intended to be a small film. The thing is, anything with Robert's name attached to it? Well, it doesn't stay small, even if it should.

Hell, if you attached Rob to say, Tommy couch-jumping-Scientology-loving Cruise? He probably wouldn't need a box to stand on anymore. Put him next to a penny? That mofo will presto-chango transform into a hundred dollar bill. That's just the way it is with Rob right now. And we're lucky for that as is he. But that kind of mystery magic is a double-edged sword when it comes to something like his first film role outside the Twilight juggernaut.

As a fan, I've almost grown used to this idea that you attach Rob's name to something? It's going to turn all glittery and shit just because. But movies are a tricky thing, not a sure thing. There's no exact science at play here even though fan boys might try to tell you differently. There are no guarantees; Remember Me could hit theaters with a Tyson-hard knockout or just lay there whimpering on the ground, all beaten and battered-like with all the other films that get released to the masses only to be crushed by lack of attendance.

What's that? Surely Rob's popularity will trump what the movie prognosticators are saying this week, though, right? Certainly anyone who considers themselves a Rob fan understands that this film and supporting it for him is important. They'll all be there opening weekend, I mean he's Rob! Right?!? He's the freaking golden E-ticket! Remember Me will be fine, won't it?

Let's take, for instance, Sara Palin (and I'll refrain from saying please). She can see Russia from her house, but no one -- not even the geekiest of nerdy, Rob-hating geekazoidians -- can see into the future and determine what's going to happen this weekend. Sites like Box Office Mojo and Box Office Blah Blah Blah, etc., can all make their predictions of doom and gloom or glory, but none of them really know. Anything can happen, even with Rob's name attached. That's just the truth.

Rob may be able to pimp out a trillion GQ magazines with one smouldery stare, but will all of his fans show up to a movie where restraint is not his middle name?

You see, as I said above, the only sure thing about movies (even movies starring effhot, talented guys named Rob Pattinson) is that you can't be sure.

The wild card here in this cluster pile of Pepto and worry is Rob. Well, I take that back; it's Rob and his fans. Who are his fans, really? How many of them does Rob have? Which ones like the dead, pale guy that sparkles like a disco ball on crack more than the flesh and blood, real boy? Which ones dig the human but hate Eddie? Will Cedric fans turn up or did they leave when he bit the Potter dust? And what about Gale fans and Art fans and curious-voice-dubbed-in-a-really-cheesy-ass-way Viking boy fans? And the biggest question of all, how about those Twilight fans? Will they turn up and support Robert Pattinson, or will they stay home pining for Edward who is cheating on Bella with a teeny girl named Clare and has daddy issues with a guy named Charles and not Carlyle?

I'm sure you can figure out that your guess is just about as good as mine.

*Shrugs shoulders and taps fingers patiently waiting to see.*

Remember Me is the all-important first step for Rob's career outside the franchise and the industry is watching to see what happens. Why wouldn't they be? Everything Rob does is news so why should this weekend be any different?

They're watching to see if Rob has an audience that believes in him enough to slap down $10 on a sticky counter, buy some uber-crappy popcorn and just plain, old see his movie. The only thing Hollywood cares about these days seems to be money, so if my $10 will help keep Rob up on the big screen for years of side-of-the-mouth drooling to come, who am I to argue with Hollywood?

I'm a fan of Robert Pattinson and I'll be there opening weekend. Will you?

If you’re considering seeing Remember Me but you’re not sure about going opening weekend, here are a few reasons from all across the Internet on why you should make the decision to be there for Rob. Show Hollywood and the watching industry that you believe in Robert Pattinson and pledge to see Remember Me on opening weekend, March 12-14th, 2010. Let Hollywood hear your voice loud and clear on opening weekend by being at the theater to help open Remember Me as big as we possibly can.

And you KNOW I'm not above begging.

Comments fromAcross the Internet About the Importance of Opening Weekend

“The only thing that matters to anyone in Hollywood is money right now.”

“The opening box office numbers might not mean much to you... but in the long-run, they'll mean a ton to the future life of other Robert Pattinson films”.

“Every one of you can make a difference. But it has to be opening weekend to make it loud and clear.”

“Hollywood only speaks box office and box office estimates are all about the opening weekend. That means the turnout opening weekend will determine how Remember Me is viewed. Will it be a winner or a loser? You can affect that answer.”

“The answer has everything to do with the astonishing importance that films' opening weekends have taken on in the mind of Hollywood. And Hollywood now operates under the conviction that if your films look like losers to the insiders after their opening weekends, they will become losers in the mind of the public.”