The Mission - To Support The Writer, Director And Actors of Remember Me

Remember Me Saturday, 3/13/10. This is a nationwide fan event in support of Rob, Chris, Pierce, Lena, Emilie, Tate and all the people who worked on Remember Me. Bring family, friends, and anyone you know to see Remember Me on Saturday, March 13. Anyone will do! Your friend, a brother, a parent, your husband, your sister, or someone (anyone?) off the street! Drag them out to the theater on Saturday to help pull this fan event off and make Remember Me a success. For more information on this fan-supported campaign, please click here! Please also follow

Sunday, February 7, 2010

How To Get Your Guy Off His Man Couch To See Remember Me

Dear RMSaturday Blogger:
Help! I’m going to see Remember Me Friday March 12 with my girlfriends but I want to get my guy to go with me on Saturday. The problem? He likes big explosions, loud gunfire, stupid car chases, mindless action and copious amounts of CGI that includes bright blue people. He’d rather have his skull cracked open with a ball-peen hammer than sit through any movie that could remotely be called a chick flick. Short of paying him in cold hard cash and promising an abundance of dirty favors, what can I tell him about Remember Me that will make him understand it’s not a chick flick and get him to see it with me?

Dear Help: First, before you do anything else, make sure you have this conversation in a car. Actually, any type of moving vehicle will do. This way it’s impossible for him to get up to raid the fridge or switch on his ginormous guy TV and watch WWF wrestling instead of listening to what you have to say. This is life wisdom I’m imparting here, mind you. Make sure all the important conversations you initiate within your lifetime take place in a moving vehicle.

Next, say something like, “There’s this great movie coming out that I want you to take me to next Saturday night called Remember Me.” Remain vague. Look confused if his first reaction is something along the lines of ‘No way, that sounds like a complete chick fest.’

Bust out the, “No, it’s this film starring that guy…you know, Giselher from that Ring of the Nibelungs movie.”

Remain as ambiguous as possible about the title. Move on quickly if you can. After all, the mention of any movie with the word “Rings” and a vaguely German-sounding name should give you enough room to carefully progress to step two of your eeeeeevil plan.

Next, he’ll probably ask you about the action and car chases. If he’s really intent on how many man items are included in this film, he may request murder counts and drug deals. Be careful here. This is a trap. You can be honest; there are no car chases, no super heroes and no mythical creatures unless you want to count Chris Cooper. Bring up the blood and fighting though. Blood, bruises, cops, fights; use all the y-chromosome trigger words you can come up with. Be sure to mention the director Allen Coulter is well known for directing some of the most brutal episodes of The Sopranos. Is this true? Directing The Sopranos yes. Most brutal? Who knows? Who cares? Just get it done.

Pull this off and you get to move onto step 3 which should include a little description of the main character – you know, the guy played by the guy who played Giselher from that Ring of the Nibelungs movie.

Tell him the main guy is named Tyler and he’s a student at NYU. Make sure you mention Tyler smokes like a train, swears like a mofo, drinks like a pro, picks up hot looking girls and may or may not partake of a little illegal ganja activity on occasion. Tell him he has a best friend named Aiden who drinks and swears, too. He’s a real asshole you can tell him. Guys can relate to other guys who are assholes so this is important. Don’t forget it.

This whole section should butter your guy up quite a bit but he may interrupt and ask you if “This isn’t one of those films where I’m going to be reliving the awkward virgin phase of my life is it?”

Look your guy straight in the eye and say in a very serious yet playful tone, “No, Tyler doesn’t just attempt to pick up girls; he actually picks up girls and scores.”

Now smile. If all goes well, this is the point where he will interrupt again: “So there’s actually sex is this movie?”

This is good. You obviously have his full attention now. But then your guy looks at you and says “Wait a minute, the title sounds like a sap fest to me. Remember Me? Really? That has to be a chick flick.”

This is where the rubber hits the road. You’ve been preparing for this moment since you first watched Robert Pattinson attacked by rabid she-devils as he tried to get to the set on one of the first days of shooting this movie. This is where your description really counts. Use your doe eyes, bat your big lashes and look at your guy and say, “Do chick flicks have hot, dirty monkey sex?”

So what if you’re not sure Remember Me has hot dirty monkey sex. You’re pretty sure it has regular sex so what’s a little bending of the truth? Who needs actual facts when you’re trying to get a guy to see a movie you want to see?

But I digress. Score for you! This should buy you a little time to come up with the next step of your plan.

Unfortunately, at this point you’ll probably want to cop to a little actual romance in this movie. You can’t hide it forever, so here’s what you do: Tell your guy Tyler is just a regular guy who meets this cute girl at NYU. Tell him there’s some great dialogue and even some dirty humor. Tell him they do fall in love, but be direct and tell him it’s in no way whatsoever your typical, crappy, boy meets girl and everything is covered in chocolate Hollywood love story. Make him understand he won’t be needing insulin or a vomit bag. Drive it home by telling your guy Remember Me is a totally unique, well-acted film where yes, there is some love, but point out these people have demons haunting them…they have family things going on. They’re dealing with father issues, brother issues, mother issues, and sister issues. Life issues in general.

Make shit up if you have to. Then repeat if you must.

This is the time you want to go back to being vague. Back off the love, add a bit more about dark humor and then talk to your guy about fights. Make sure you tell your guy there are cops involved. Cops should give you a little more wiggle room.

He might say something like, “So there’s a fight? How much action is there?”

Go slowly. Tell him there’s a street fight, a silver projectile, broken glass, the whole nine yards. Tell him Tyler’s the kind of guy that doesn’t like bullies. He stands up for people. He doesn’t take crap from anyone. You can also slip in the fact that he’s a great big brother right about here. You may be able to slip this by unnoticed; then again, he might interrupt you and say: “Wait, dude has a sister? He’s not some goody two-shoes hall monitor type is he because if he is, I’m telling you right…”

Cut him off.

“No. Tyler does the right thing but he acts before he thinks. He even does jail time!” Jail time should give you some big bonus points at this juncture of the conversation. If you need to, lie and mention a hooker. Hookers always work!

“Hmmmmm. Well, that sounds kind of ok,” he says.”Who’s in it? Anyone I know?”

This is the part of our plan where you move in for the kill. Mention Pierce Brosnan, but be sure to add James Bond to that description. Most men love James Bond. Either that or they want to be James Bond. James Bond doesn’t do chick flicks. Remind your guy of this fact. Trust me, it will resonate.

Then mention Chris Cooper. If your guy looks at you with that look…you know, the look that means I’m not sure who that is but the name sounds familiar, just say two words: “Oscar winner.”

That should do it.

Next, you need to mention the women populating this movie. Throw in a word or two for Emile de Ravin of Lost. If he looks at you with that look again, just say “Mah Baybeeeeeeeee, Mah Baybeeeeeeeeeee!” He’s a guy, he’ll get it.

Same thing for Lena Olin. The look should get two more words and those are “Irina Derevko.” Trust me. No man can resist Sydney Bristow’s birth mom. If they can, you have bigger problems than getting your guy to see Remember Me. I would question whether your guy is really a guy. Harsh? I think not.

So, you’ve got his attention at this point but here’s where you can lose it all. Tread carefully here. Act sure of yourself and enunciate clearly. You can only stall so long and the time has come; this is where you have to tell your guy one more name and admit the movie stars Robert Pattinson.

"The vampire guy?" he asks shaking his head violently and looking like he’s about to seize.

Before he can add "No effing way,” remind him in quick succession that you’ve already told him about Rob in this movie. “I told you already, you know, the guy? The guy who played Giselher in the Ring of the Nibelungs. That’s Robert Pattinson!”

He should look momentarily confused. This is good. Act innocent. Use those doe eyes. Bat those lashes. Then remind him that Rob is just a guy…just a guy like him. Just a guy that took a job, but that’s another story altogether. Anyway, tell him Rob drinks beer. Rob curses. Rob smokes like a chimney. Rob even likes plaid and eats Hot Pockets. Your guy and him? Tell him they could be twins. The only difference between the two of them that you can see? In real life, Rob has a British accent.

"No biggie," you'll tell him as if you mean it.

Your guy doesn’t have to know the things you know. Why tell him Rob reads and enjoys obscure literary titles and can recite Virgil while playing a guitar. No need to point out that he’s far superior in intelligence and taste and could probably drink him under the table without even trying. No need to rub these details in. Just keep saying to your guy, “He’s just like you. He’s just like you.”

Learn it. Live it. Believe it and so will he. But for you and me? It will just be our little secret.

If these steps can’t get your guy to happily and willingly take you to Remember Me the weekend it opens, my only other advice is to possibly promise upside down sex and tell him you’ll see Transformers 4, 5 and 6 with a smile on your face. Throw in some alcohol and a game of X-Box and maybe he’ll see Remember Me with you twice.

You do what you’ve got to do when it comes to Rob.

Best of Luck. Please write back and let me know how much your guy liked Remember Me and if he doesn’t? Please lie.

*Many thanks to AZmoviefan for her grand contribution to this Dear RMSaturday Blog.

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  1. Not even bothering with trying to get DH to see it; my SON wants to see it with me Friday & Saturday. He's straight & loves romance movies. He will go far. Very far.

  2. Considereing there is a Matt Damon war movie coming out that same weekend, it might be a tough sell for guys. My solution? Movie hop and see both, that way everyone is happy. But be sure to buy the tickets for Remember Me so the $ total is credited to Rob's movie.

  3. I honestly don't want my DH coming with me to this movie. (and honestly he wouldn't want to anyway) I don't think he would appreciate the reactions I may have in the theater while watching. And it's really not fair for me to be sitting next to him as I drool over the hot guy on the screen. I rather keep my drooling to myself.

  4. March 13 is my birthday and the only thing I asked my family and friends for was that they them go with me to see Remember Me. We started with five people and we've now grown to 23 people...this includes men, too. Who knows, by the time March 13 comes, we may fill whole a theatre - HA! Thanks Rob for such a wonderful birthday gift!

  5. This is just sneaky enough that it might actually work! Great idea.

  6. Ohhh loved it!!!
    this sounds sneaky enough..
    great ideas.. this is turning out to be very educational too

  7. this post is really cute. genius! definitely with this reasons, i can drag my guy. thanks a lot!